I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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