You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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