He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
