Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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