There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
