just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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