well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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