whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
