I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
