Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
