y did u give ur computer a hand job?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
