Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
