Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
