brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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