It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
