why didn't you poke me back
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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