Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
