I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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