Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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