Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
