i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
