can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
