The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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