I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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