I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
