im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
