I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
