Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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