i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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