K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize