i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Michael Bay diarrhea
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
