Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
