Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize