Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
