Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i came on her dog
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
