come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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