Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
