we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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