i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
