Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
