Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
