You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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