Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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