My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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