"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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