Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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