So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I believe in your delicious
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
