Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
