let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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