i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
third nipple confirmed
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
