I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
