Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
