I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
