sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
