I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
