Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
