once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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