is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
