How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I need to sanitize my soul.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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