can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
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No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
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she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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