he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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